chilling at the house is not dating

Men are still asking for house dates. In the year 2018 in the continental U.S., men who have hit thirty think that offering to hang out at the house is a smart way to get through the door. These guys are literally just asking to be let in.

I’ve had more than a few new men offer this. You have to fit into some real narrow territory of relationship to be able to pull this off. This isn’t for people I just met. This isn’t for people who have never hit it before and think they’ll just come over to try.

People are obviously doing this. I can confirm it just based on how many people try it. I can count five guys right off the top of my head in the past year.

I can’t act like I’ve never done it either. But I guess if we’ve all done it once or twice, we’ve built up the ratio that makes these guys think that’s enough. If they just go to enough women’s houses or bring them to theirs, a few around bound to fuck.

If I ever allow a guy to come over, I’m not fucking him off top. Period. Come if you want. Bring shit with you cuz I’m trapped here anyway. But you leaving right back out empty handed.

Even that wears itself out pretty fast. It can feel like you’re working with what you got, but what’s really happening is the guy is being lazy, cheap, lame, and transparent about just trying to fuck. A guy who offers nothing doesn’t even have the decency to hide it. Men will just take up space if you let them.

Every person I know who dates men says that all they want is a regular date. Think about who the person is and plan something. Everyone says this. And it’s not hard.

This happened to me with a cable guy. We smoked together once. When he came over he was totally surprised when I said (after stopping his hand) that I was fucking him. We’re not even dating. Dude brought a joint (a single white paper joint) and a cheap ass bottle of wine. You thought I was gonna give it up… for that? Come on.

Guys you know will do this too. These are the ones who are just down to fuck if you are by this point. But even in those situations, I need be to genuinely pursued or I lose interest. That game doesn’t last for me. A guy who I’ve known for ever loves to suggest someone comes over. It’s too bad because he’s sexy as hell and is genuinely decent otherwise.

I reached my last one with him lately after a weekend round of come over texts. I told him he was bullshitting. He said he was serious, and let him know when he can come over.

At least that was funny. I’ll give him that. Okay, obviously I know you’re serious about trying to come over! If anything you’re too serious about that. You need to either be a more interesting friend or a more active lover. And, still, either way, I’m not offering this pussy on a platter (or a couch).

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