smoking me out is also not a date

Smoking is automatic. I’m smoking with or without you. If you don’t have weed you should go get some. I like to drink, but I expect to smoke.

So the idea of getting smoked out by someone as a means of fucking you is like… huh? Don’t misuse the weed! It’s not an escape route from making a romantic effort. It’s supposed to be some chill shit.

I can say less people have tried this with me lately (trying to be nice here), but people having been doing this forever. It’s not so cute anymore.

A guy who lives near me just did this. He was always peeking over at me when he saw me. Definitely not my type but, hey, you can look. We never said more than hello.

One day, we happened to be walking outside to smoke at the exact same time. He had a mild in his hand. I pulled out a clip. He said something like “I didn’t know you smoked.”

It was windy that week. The day before I couldn’t get my shit to stay lit in that same wind. I was planning on smoking in the car. We were talking about nothing. When I started to light mine up, he realized what it was. He said “you blaze?” and pulled a blunt out of his pocket.

So we smoked. Of course he’s asking me if I have a boyfriend and shit. He gave me his number before I went inside. He didn’t say anything appealing, but weed is weed.

I didn’t hit him up until the next day when I was about to smoke. He said he was about to go out too. So we smoked again. He continued to say extremely uninteresting stuff. When the blunt was gone, I was like okay, time to lose him. Just as I’m about to say what I’m about to do, he offered a drink at his house.

I was like, a what? Nah, I have stuff to do right now. And I really did, but I’m also… no, I’m not going to your apartment for a drink. I’m not a unbeknownst teen runaway. Why do you think I’m going to stow myself away at your place for an ounce of hard liquor in the middle of the day?

Smoking me out counts as chilling. You get cool points for that. That’s it. Hold on to them and keep it moving.


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