on longass phone conversations

I’m from the AIM generation. We didn’t call unless it was the weekend or past 9pm. So if you call me, I’m probably ignoring that shit. Text me or see me in real life.

During the first minute or so of an impromptu phone call, I’m giving quick answers hoping for an opportunity to get off the phone. If the conversation doesn’t suck, I might give an extra few minutes.

A couple weeks ago, after a long-ish phone call with a guy I just met, I thought, okay, good, he’s not weird. He didn’t say anything too alarming. I answered the call accidentally in the first place, but then I considered that maybe it was good to get the bullshit we’d say on a first date out of the way (religion, why’d you break up with your baby’s mom/dad, school). Now, at least, we wouldn’t be complete strangers hanging out.

But when he hit me with phone call number two the next day, I was like ok, I’ve got myself a caller. I was at a family thing and didn’t see it in real time. But when I checked my phone, I was realized that he was going to just keep on calling me every day. But I will not be answering. I have a million excuses, and I will use them.

I wanted to give him leeway because he’s like twenty years older than me. And I don’t care about his age. I mean, he signed every text message with his name. Not even a proper text signature like people did for one minute fifteen years ago. Sometimes it was written out differently. He was manually signing his name after each message–and I accepted it! I didn’t say anything about it.

But constant phone calls with no real life action is where I draw the line.

That’s trying to put me on multiple pre-date phone interviews before really setting a date and time to do something. I guess I had to earn a date? Maybe it was meant to be sentimental, but I consider it bullshitting. Next caller, please!

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