a winter without stockings

I’ve been wearing stockings every winter since I was probably eighteen. That was when I got a regular job where I could wear normal clothing (i.e. not a uniform and/or an apron). I hate stockings, but they were the only way to still wear skirts and heels when it’s cold out.
I remember a co-worker saying that she loved that I wore stockings. If I didn’t, she’d probably talk shit about me (that happened at a hair salon, so it was a genuine compliment). Really, I wasn’t trying to be modest or anything. I just like feeling put together.
I remember stockings coming up in American Psycho. I was impressed by the narrator’s knowledge of women’s clothing. I mean, his men’s clothing was on point, but that was his clothes. He could spot a pair Calvin Klein stockings on his date from a mile away. That was dope.
Anyway, this winter I gave up on stockings. I think it was thanksgiving that it really happened. I went to put on a pair of stockings for the first time of the season. I had a twisted up pile of tan and black stockings waiting in the back of a drawer for this exact moment. I went to put one pair on–hole. Next pair–long hole down the front. There must have been a time last year when I stopped caring enough about holes in my stockings I guess.
I was going to wear this grey wool skirt that day, though, and I was like, do I even need stockings? The boots would go up past the hem line. I’d be inside most of the time anyway. So I said fuck it and went without stockings.
After that, I bought a few pairs of black leggings to wear under pants or skirts (to wear with boots that hide my ankles). The headphone-style knot of stockings are still sitting on my drawer, but I’m done with them. They’re too expensive to be so uncomfortable and flimsy. This winter, I did without them.
That is, until, I was planning on wearing these t-strap heels. Obviously I couldn’t go with leggings. I knew that I had one good pair of stockings (CK) left in that drawer. All week, I just knew they were there. Then, night of, I go to put them on, and put a hole right through them. Dude was outside to pick me up already when I was racing down 21 to go get a cheap pair from a drugstore. They were not comfortable or cute, which reminded me that I can’t cut ties with stockings completely.

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