I was wondering to myself the other day, why am I miserable by two o’clock whenever I’m home with my kid? I’m doing something wrong here.
I started to think that maybe it’s because I’ve only been getting dressed in outside clothes when he takes his naps. Nowadays, they can start anywhere between from 2pm-5pm. And all morning he wants my attention. Read his books. Play with these toys. Fight me.
So I do a lot of it. I also read a lot during it all. I don’t think I’d stay sane if I wasn’t reading. It reminds me intrinsically that there are other people in this world right now. There’s more than this. It’s the cheapest type of vacation (drugs cost a bit more, what with the existence of libraries–hmm there’s a business idea).
But when you’re broke and alone with a kid it’s like… where do we go from here? We go to the library. We run errands. He has to come with me to work things sometimes. When we’re home I’m disappointed to not be doing my own work. Then when he finally goes to sleep at night, I’m like I’m done! I don’t even feel bad for having a drink and chilling (usually a mix of reading and watching tv).
But I have to go outside to smoke when he does finally fall asleep for his nap, and I’m not the type of person who goes anywhere in house clothes. I throw jeans on at least before going out there. I leave them on when I come back inside, and that is my most productive time of day. The weed helps, but being even half dressed makes a big difference.
Even though wearing jeans in the house seems like madness, I’m trying it to see if it’ll make me more productive.