not doing my hair

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I went to hair school during high school. No, I wasn’t passionate about hair, nails, or skin. No, I wasn’t very girly at the time. In fact, I was just sick of my high school and everyone in it. I wanted to be away from my school, and the vo-tec was offering that on a free platter (well, the kit for the class ended up costing $300).

Strange times… I was a junior and senior during that course. Those were two of the hardest weirdest years of my life. The next four years out of high school were also fucked up, but at the time that seemed like that worst. A lot of shit happening at home. I was doing recreational drugs and drinking a lot. I was hanging out A LOT. I wasn’t focused on anything but work. Of course I had a boyfriend who wasn’t really a good match for me.

I remember many mornings sitting there in the blue little robe things they made us wear looking in the mirror thinking that I was just horribly unattractive. Terrible looking. I could feel tears behind my eyes sitting at my desk, facing the huge long wall length mirrors in front of me. I looked like a ghost. I didn’t know if I even existed.

Nevertheless, by the time I got to my high school, my hair was always done. That course was like a morning routine for all of us. Girls were coming in barefaced, sit down in the hair chairs at the mirror, and set up their make-up. Two hours and some change would go by, and everyone was ready for school. We barely ever did work. Well, we did a lot of perm rods and shit. That was it.

I would always straighten my hair. I also got a bad perm (i.e. a bunch of hair burned off). I also was getting my hair done, like in buns, braids, twists, etc. I dyed my hair a million colors. I never got into make-up, but my nails and hair were always done. I always had mascara on, just to face those huge rectangular mirrors that haunted me under the florescent lights.

After going to hair school, after doing hair at a salon, after many years of HAIR, I just… stopped. I did wash and go looks all the time. By the time I was in grad school, I had art hair–uneven, natural waves. Unbrushed, natural color. I’d be wearing a whole ass outfit (skirt, heels, everything), but my hair was however it ended up on it’s own after washing it in the morning. I also stopped waxing my vagina.

Last year, a lot of shit happened. I started doing my hair again every day. It was just straightening it, but still. I would wash, blow dry, and straighten it every single morning. When I was staying at my friends house a few days (bad times), she was like I can’t believe you really straighten your hair every day. I was like… yup… it’s to cope…

Time passed. Straightening my hair stopped around the end of last summer. I’m back to just letting it dry. My hair’s natural drying pattern is, like, loose coils in the front and midway down in the back and straight everywhere else. So my ends are straight (even if they’re trimmed–no, my hair’s not dead), the back of my head is straight, and the waves in between are semi-sloppy. Brushing it after it dries doesn’t really help.

I’ve started putting my hair in a low, loose bun while it’s wet every morning, and it’s working out pretty well. I’m getting even waves when I take the hairband out (while it’s still a little wet). I figured this out while I was doing a mask one morning. When I took the bun out, my hair was ok looking after it dried. No more uneven shit. No more heat. Unless I’m going out.

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