9 MONTHS IN 9 MONTHS OUT by Vanessa LoBue

My new favorite book genre is personal/scientific books written by academics. Like the book Never Enough by Judith Grisel (a book about addiction written by a former addict and current neuroscientist), this book is about being pregnant and having a baby written by a child psychologist. LoBue goes through each month citing her experiences alongside research. She covers topics like gender, breastfeeding, and language development.

The most interesting thing for me was the stuff about forgetting. People naturally repress trauma as a survival technique (it would be hard to function if we were always consciously thinking about the bad things that have happened to us), and a mother’s brain does it to kind of trick us into having more kids (survival of the species). I forgot about the pain of childbirth literally the second after it was over. I was immediately thinking, was that really that bad?? Maybe I was exaggerating. Same goes for the difficult day-to-day stuff. As time goes on, you forget a lot of the particulars and mostly just miss when they were a baby (remembering the cute stuff over the bad stuff). And she writes about in the afterward–even two years later you forget a lot of the things that you went through with an infant.

Anyway–point is, all I could think throughout reading the book is that I want another baby.

Links to my book:

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