bell hooks explores the concept of love in the context of American culture. Well, she says there’s a lack of love. People are loosely-promised a deep true romantic connection but are also bombarded with individualism, which is the opposite of love (greed). It’s not just about relationships either. She’s also talking about daily life like not abusing your kids, being honest as hell, and loving people like it might be the last time you see them or talk to them.

hooks eventually lands at the biblical story of Jacob. His situation pertains to many different layers of love–solitude, commitment, and self-care. Jacob actively loves Rachel, but that’s not the end of his journey. Out in the wild one night, he wrestles with an angel and is essentially reborn. He leaves the fight with an injured hip and a new name (Israel), proving that “there is beauty in the struggle.” Love is about being present and caring and conscious of your wounds even as you move forward.