I am my own muse

I once had a guy be like he couldn’t date me because I might write about it. Yea I guess, except that who said I was even giving you the chance to be written about lol. I never even said yes to a date. Okay? You read my book and now you think I just sub people all the time. But it’s not even like that. It’s not about the men, it’s about me. I’m the person you’re following from story to story, not them. Me. Me. ME. lol.

It’s much more likely that a dude will like being written about anyway. Some will ask me to do it, straight up. That’s cute and all, but I don’t actually care about requests. That doesn’t motivate me or not to write about specific men. Again, it’s not about them. It’s about the impact it has on me. What it makes me think. How it makes me feel to be around you or to be away from you for days or weeks at a time. Whatever it is, yea I’m writing it down.

I can only think of one time a dude even half-complained about something I wrote about them. It was just a couple sentences from the original blog on the topic of emotionally unavailable men, and I didn’t include it in my first book at all. Then that was that. But I’ve written about pregnancy scares and all types of shit. Never had a guy be like omg why?? Cuz I don’t name names. I offer little to no clues to who might be who. It’s really not about them, it’s what they do.

-Rachel Wagner 2020

Other pieces I’ve written on this topic: Someone to like & To be fetishized & Men at the park & You should start a podcast or something & Back Like I Never Left

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