Another day 16

Sunday 4/4/2021

  • It feels good as hell to be able to read a book in Spanish.
  • Four months ago, I swear I didn’t know anything beyond middle school Spanish class.
  • Been enjoying manga more lately too which is a style I haven’t been around since high school Japanese class… tho really I was also never speaking/reading fluent Japanese either…
  • “Capital, Marx said, has it both ways. In times of peace, when workers win higher wages, employers send jobs abroad. And in wartime, the rulers capitalize on the very rivalries they intensify in this way to send young workers abroad to suppress the revolts of the foreign poor.” -David Smith
  • “Exploitation can only be effectively resisted by the united efforts of the exploited.” -David Smith

Monday 4/5/2021

  • Finished Marx’s Capital Illustrated this morning.
  • Reading The Price of the Ticket next. Been having my eye on it all week.
  • Men proclaiming their love for me in public… I like that…
  • My son and his cousin are bringing me all these lil purple flowers that just popped up outside where I watch them play. That’s spring lol.
  • 70 degrees in the sun is a completely different situation than 70 degrees in the shade.
  • I love a good epilogue. I feel like they’re underrated in the reader experience. Getting one more final thought is really nice.

Tuesday 4/6/2021

  • “What a wicked way to treat the girl that loves you” -Beyoncé
  • Taught bell hooks today. It was her response to Lemonade. So good. Was talking about the circularity of violence in romantic relationships—betrayal and the destruction of property. How rage ends up being hurtful to everyone.
  • Also went on a hike. Found a certain rock I liked. Felt sad but also happy to be out of the house.
  • I know being sad is a part of my brand and all, but sometimes I wish I could stop lol.
  • Like I’ll say to myself, damn would you get over it already? and I’ll just be like… no.
  • Thinking about that line from Bessie in Native Son when she says something to Bigger like, if you see me crying don’t think it’s about you. When I cry, I cry about a lot of things……. I felt her character so much.

Wednesday 4/7/2021

  • K-12 should be designed more like college. Not the dorm thing, but they should do 2 semesters (not 4 marking periods). Bigger breaks in the summer and a month off from December to January. Done in May not June. I think that schedule gives people more autonomy.
  • Last year this one dude was commenting on a woman’s body in order to explain to me which body type he usually goes for. I was like, ok why are you talking to me about this? He was like, oh my bad I thought all girls liked girls a little bit….. bitch do I look like all girls to you??
  • Not like we were on a date or anything, but he was fake-trying to get my romantic attention in that moment so it’s like not only are you rude to me but you also just generally reduce women to their fuckability out loud all the time. Yawn.
  • Just watched Legally Blonde. Reese Witherspoon’s hair is so great in that movie.

Thursday 4/8/2021

  • I love when someone tells me what someone said about me lol.
  • Freely proving your loyalty by exposing someone else? Nice!!!!
  • Yea I’m listening.

Friday 4/9/2021

  • Grading is like being in fuckin purgatory. How did I end up here?
  • Something about getting garbage work from students and/or garbage treatment from men feels passive aggressive. I genuinely love literature and love love, so why am I involved in any of this?
  • Today, draconian policies targeted at poor and working class blacks now receive the public backing of black elites whose influence and status in American society provide cover for racist practices and policies.” -Frederick Harris

Saturday 4/10/2021

  • Currently dying from a migraine.
  • Had a small window of time without a headache in the early afternoon so we went out and it was worth it.
  • Then continued to die when we got back.
  • Went out again in the next window of time without a headache in the early night and it was worth it.
  • And now I’m laying here dying.

-Rachel Wagner

Other pieces by me: Perfect teenage girls & Performing femininity & Not your babymother

My books: Jacob’s Hip: Poems & FEM: New Millennium Beauty & Fashion & Abandonment Issues: Alive in New Jersey & Back Like I Never Left: Dating as a Single Mother

My bookstore: Ten Dollar Books & Youtube

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