Another day 19

Sunday 4/25/2021

Slept in this morning because it’s my last chance to do so this week.
Then I read some El Odio Que Das.
Feeling very awake and present but also kinda sad and lonely.
Earlier today stepping outside my neighbor was like hey sexy. Then just walking inside a different dude was right there and was like hey sexy lol.
This dude last year saw me on my bike (he was also on a bike) and was like you trying to get in shape I was like I’m already in shape he was like yea that’s what I was going to say. Lol…
I’m not shy or dumb. Just quiet…
Wearing black today.
Drinking some IPA.

Monday 4/26/2021

Told my bd I was reading The Hate U Give in Spanish and he’s like oh I saw that movie. At the end, the police—. I was like AHT!!!!!!!!!!!!! LALALALA! Now why would you even start that sentence???????
Chilled outside this afternoon.

Tuesday 4/27/2021

Today was chaotic as hell.
Weird how you never want to pick up an apple to eat, but once you start eating one you realize it’s good as hell and will eagerly eat the whole thing.

Wednesday 4/28/2021

In thought.
“You always reading. I like that. I need a smart girl.” Lol.
Nice weather today. At this point it’s nice when it doesn’t get freezing cold by 7pm.
Sushi & wine

Thursday 4/29/2021

Saw it was going to rain, but I still went out on a hike today. No one else was out—we only passed like one other person the whole time. Saw a heron (I think that’s what it was). Saw a robin taking a bath in a pond. And my son pretended to be a black panther.

Friday 4/30/2021

Another day.
Do not want to go back to school IRL and don’t want to send my son back either. And yet I teach and he’s a public school student so…
One box of ice pops will entertain 6 kids for about 15 minutes. Definitely worth it.
Kinda smacked.
Omg. A friend of mine died earlier. It is so so so terrible.

Saturday 5/1/2021

Sunday 5/2/2021

Que toda la sangre de nuestros cuerpos forme charcos en la calle para que la gente lo vea. Que nuestras bocas se queden completamente abiertas. Que nuestros ojos miren al cielo fijamente, en busa de Dios. -Angie Thomas
Every interaction I’ve had in the past 2 days has involved disassociation. Just going through the motions of being human. RIP Tyrone.
They do it for the dough. Me, I do it for the love. -Big Stan

Monday 5/3/2021

Tuesday 5/4/2021

Must. Finish. Grading.
I don’t front and I don’t go backwards and I don’t practice and I don’t lack shit -lil wayne

Wednesday 5/5/2021

Thursday 5/6/2021

You know the streets raised me and I don’t give a damn if you hate me -lil wayne
It’s kinda hard to be optimistic when ya homie’s lyin dead on the pavement twisted ya’ll don’t hear me tho I’m trying hard to make amends but I’m losin all my mf friends -Tupac
Let em know that amidst all this confusion some of us may do the winning but we all do the losing it’s just who does the choosing -DMX
No time 4 no fake or lames. At all.
Corona time.

Friday 5/7/2021

Saturday 5/8/2021

It’s never easy to deal with so much hate. -Miyoshi Tomori
Unbelievable, I guess some people keep coming to school no matter how badly they hurt someone. -Miyoshi Tomori
I’m some people lol.
I want to be able to say “I love you” to someone. -Miyoshi Tomori
Just finished A Devil and Her Love Song.
Cannot believe my friend is dead.

-Rachel Wagner