Another day 21

Sunday 5/16/2021

Terminé El Odio Que Das hoy.
Watching a guy in the reflection of a window while he watches you walk away just to pass the time…

Monday 5/17/2021

The more I hear, the more my insides go bananas. For days. I can’t stop crying screaming fainting listening recoiling retching agonizing, which no one hears or sees because it’s all inside me. -Judy Juanita
Finished Virgin Soul.
Grading as usual.
It’s crazy how much attention a child requires. You don’t really see it until they’re away from you for more than 5 minutes. This past weekend, I was alone Saturday and Sunday. It took me until Sunday morning to really feel alone and notice that my attention was actually on only my stuff. Then today is the opposite. I’ve not had more than 5 minutes of consecutive time to work on anything all day long. It is so distracting and prolonging. And I have a great kid–I’m not complaining just merely observing. Things have to get done in sprints.

Tuesday 5/18/2021

The free flow of capital requires precarious labor, which is shaped by borders through immobility. -Harsha Walia
Grading as usual.
Also choosing to avoid my anxiety about sending everyone back to school in the fall. Save that emotion for later.
Started a hard book yesterday. Reading dense theory is a different kind of hard vs reading in Spanish. But the way to get through any hard book is to just commit.

Wednesday 5/19/2021

Immigration and citizenship have been specifically weaponized to further the genocidal elimination of Indigenous political and social formations. -Harsha Walia
Finally done grading and calculating and submitting grades. This is freedom.
Sitting outside watching kids reading Border & Rule.

Thursday 5/20/2021

Started listening to one of my cousin’s music last night foreal and it’s so good. Look up Pat XY.
Sitting outside and realizing you brought the wrong book……. not great…
Something I wrote about that: “Forgetting Your Book”

Friday 5/21/2021

Financial speculation in land and housing has, on one hand, concentrated poverty into slums and, on the other hand, bulldozed those very neighborhoods when seeking new frontiers to colonize and capitalize. -Harsha Walia
Reading that book out loud to my son and explaining as I go. He’s like “ok what did the U.S. do now?” lol.
had my homie crack my card for bail money. Wrote a thesis on why you got me fucked up. Earned commission on the hands you can catch but can’t hold. -E’mon Lauren
Just read Commando.
I got ice cubes where my heart be… I be freezing I be drowning… -kodak
Sold two books just now based on someone recognizing me walking into my building. Nice. It was these two: Jacob’s Hip & Back Like I Never Left: Dating as a Single Mother
Took a hike and also rode my bike for the first time in a while. That’s something I used to really enjoy as a kid and then stopped when it was no longer cool and then tried it again as a person with a kid and remembered how fun it is.

Saturday 5/22/2021

Borders are not fixed lines or passive objects simply demarcating territory; borders are productive regimes both generated by and reproducing racialized social relations, further imbued by gender, sexuality, class, ability, and nationality. -Harsha Walia
Just read Citizen Illegal.
I’m heartless and iced out see I got an icebox where myheart used tobe -lil wayne
Dudes idk talking 2 me like they already got it in the bag lol… I have to laugh…
This one kid will not pass by me without saying hi at least even if we just said hi one min ago lol. It’s cute.

-Rachel Wagner

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