Crazy book lol. The narrator is sooo troubled. She has mad money and looks mad good, just graduated from college, but both of her parents are dead and she’s stuck on this certain terrible guy and she just generally doesn’t want to exist. Like that is her goal–she wants to just sleep for a whole year. And not just sleep, but like deep, pill induced sleep. She’s on all types of medications from this yellow pages psychiatrist who gives her anything.
The story takes place in NYC from 2000 to 2001, so 9/11 is also looming in the near future the whole time. News and stuff is happening in the background on the TV she always has on (that or back to back VHS movies). She’s almost like Pat Bateman from American Psycho. Loves consuming art but is heartless in an extreme way. She gets sexually assaulted and that just happens. She doesn’t care enough about the one friend she does have. I guess I can relate some. The writing is raw and mean and sad.
There is something fantastical about the whole thing tho. Like it doesn’t seem real that she’d be okay to take this many sleeping pills or that she’d find such an irresponsible doctor on her first try. Or that she would actually feel renewed and spiritually different after that year. Or that she’d plan it so smoothly. Like she’s in control of this drug use without ever researching much or being a bio major or something. Her situation is a lot more arty than that–a rich orphan curating for her own rebirth.
Best line: “The thought stung. I still couldn’t accept that Trevor was a loser and a moron. I didn’t want to believe that I could have degraded myself for someone who didn’t deserve it. I was still stuck on that little bit of vanity.” p 76
My bookstore: Ten Dollar Books