Sunday 9/12/2021

• Just finished Nightbitch.
• Some dudes try lol.
• Nevermind.
• Too sexy for this.
• Went to the library for the first time since corona. Got some great stuff. Was nice browsing in real life just for myself. Best section to look is the new books shelves. That’s what the library recently bought based on professor’s requests and whatever else.
• Now reading Intimations, a slim book written during quarantine.
• The devil is consistent, if nothing else. -Zadie Smith p 12

Monday 9/13/2021

• You see the material…
• Teaching was cool today. Ed was right. Genre is interesting.
• Physicists are infamous for trying to solve problems by simplifying them until they are in a ludicrously unrecognizable form. -Gregory Gbur
• Reading Falling Felines and Fundamental Physics. Haven’t read a science book in a while. I think not since Drug Use for Grown-ups.
• “where ya man at”
• You telling me that some fine ass Puerto Rican dude likes me… yea I’m listening…
• My son is asking if I’ll be his valentine MONTHS in advance lol. So cute.
• Carelessness is sooo lame. Get a life.

Tuesday 9/14/2021

• Got on a black denim mini skirt, white/lil grey/lil blue/lil red air maxes, and a grey wrap top.

Wednesday 9/15/2021

• I don’t know what I did today.

Thursday 9/16/2021

• Aight that PR dude is too young for me nvm.
• How many donuts ya’ll ate today? I’m at 3.
• Crumbs of affection? I’ll pass.
• Physics is cool.
• This is me distracting myself from grading.

Friday 9/17/2021

• “You always doing homework.”
  Yup.
  “I mean always.”
  Yea I know lol.

Saturday 9/18/2021

• Today would have been my best friend’s bday. RIP.
• Honored her by taking my son with me to go to a bike trail, a bookstore, and a good food place.
• Those lil red bugs are fast as hell. Learned today that they have no natural predator because their color scares the birds and stuff away. Other animals assume they’re poisonous.

Sunday 9/19/2021

• Nothing will blow ya high faster than missing files on the computer.
• The adage “It’s not the fall that kills you but the sudden stop at the end” is true: injury from a fall comes from the sudden nonuniform deceleration of a living creature’s body. If an animal lands feet first, for example, the feet stop moving immediately, but the body above does not; the lower parts of the body are therefore subjected to the crushing inertia of the upper parts coming down on top of them. Gregory Gbur -187
• The word robot was derived from Czech roboti, which refers to a serf-like forced laborer. Gregory Gbur -206
• Crazy how fast the weekend goes.
• Flirting with this taurus dude. Will likely go nowhere but he’s cool.
• Honestly finding cool guys isn’t hard at all. That’s pretty much the standard. It’s hard to find someone who’s doing interesting things. Most guys I meet are drug dealers (allegedly).

Monday 9/20/2021

• idk

Tuesday 9/21/2021

• idk

Wednesday 9/22/2021

• “Damn it’s crazy cuz I was never really attracted to a… What are you? Cuban?” Lol people are so funny and crazy.
• That’s the Taurus dude.
• New cat flow. Got her from the Newark animal shelter. She is sweet and low-key.

Thursday 9/23/2021

• Rainy day today. Dark and dreary. Which I like. 

Friday 9/24/2021

• Ten Dollar Books will be at the Bound Brook street fair tomorrow.
• Doing mad shit to prepare for that today ttyl.

Saturday 9/25/2021

• Sold books all day then came home and immediately had to curse out a junkie for trying to pop shit. Smh. Day in the life am I right.
• I’m known to walk alone but I’m alone for a reason sending me a drink ain’t appeasing believe me come harder this won’t be easy don’t doubt yaself trust me you need me (!!!!!!!)
• Me *handshake* changing my outfit 3 times in one day.

Sunday 9/26/2021

• Head hurts too bad to read. Sigh.

Monday 9/27/2021

• This became the story of my life. I wasn’t welcome with the boys but the girls made room for me. -Mohamed Abdulkarim Ali p 47
• Finished Falling Felines and Fundamental Physics. Now moving onto Angry Queer Somali Boy. Both of those books are from that library trip.
• Taught today, gotta tutor tomorrow.
• Teaching takes up a lot of time. So does dealing with men.

Tuesday 9/28/2021

• Am I sad? Yes. Is there an upside to this? No.
• Actually I was blessed today not having to tutor anyone. Two open appointments, one no show.
• Hey Greg did you ever read Just Mercy? Asking here cuz I don’t feel like texting.
• Going to be reading a poem somewhere next week.
• Why this dude just call me talkin bout how are you this morning. Lol bro it’s 4pm.
• Fear must haunt every nomad at the beginning of a journey. -Mohamed Abdulkarim Ali

Wednesday 9/29/2021

• Taught today. Read today. Rained today.

Thursday 9/30/2021

• Crazy how you’ll deal with someone again and they’ll do basically the same thing they did to get cut off the first time. Like damn you’re really bad at fulfilling my fantasy version of you.
• Spent this whole month teaching prison abolition in my classes. Nice.
• Just realizing the chucky cheese rat is a low budget Mickey Mouse. 
• I can believe what you feel. I can believe that. But do you really know? -Whitney
• I feel so bad for anybody who doesn’t fuck with me. Mute me block me whatever you need to do. -Issa Rae
• Pull up to the projects and dudes are opening doors and walking me to my destination lol… all dat extra shit…
• They know the face, they know the name -Drake

Friday 10/1/2021

• Nobody:
  Me: smoking with some dude(s)

Saturday 10/2/2021

• Every few weeks I obsess over a certain clothing item. Right now it’s pants. 
• Sad about stuff but it’s okay (no it’s not). 
• I do my thing. My place my stuff my cat my son.
• Wearing black today. And pink shoes.
• Sentence from my actual journal: “I don’t trust his familiarity with me.”

Sunday 10/3/2021

• Barely slept last night but still made it to this football game somehow.
• Imagine being valued as a human being and not just lusted after.
• Chilling with these kids. As usual.
• Having actual boundaries is pretty great.

Monday 10/4/2021

• Taught today.

Tuesday 10/5/2021

• Can silence create a narrative? In my experience, yes. – Chiseche Salome Mibenge p 24
• Sexual violence, whether inside or outside of armed conflict, carries a unique stigma because of its general perception as a specifically sexual violation, a view that tends to subsume its violent nature and gravity as a gender specific offense. There are few modern societies that do not valorize purity and fertility in women. Aknowledging this valorization is a necessary step toward investigating the power of rape to destroy the fabric of society through the gendered targeting of women and, more important, toward finding social, political, and legal responses that can diminish this power. – Chiseche Salome Mibenge p 47-8
• That’s from Sex and International Tribunals: The Erasure of Gender from the War Narrative. That book focuses on Rwanda and Sierra Leone. Liking it so far.

Wednesday 10/6/2021

• Teaching is very emotionally intensive work even if you’re not dealing with behavioral problems. Anxiety, performance, dread. Gots to see it through tho.
• Whatever happens you have to just keep pushing. People don’t answer your question, ok next question. Someone hates you, ok don’t care. That’s college culture lol.
• “You got more game than a lil bit.”
  You calling me a hoe?? Lol
• We care about nice arms, great eyes, big dick. – Miranda SATC
• Dudes will try to talk to me and I’m already not interested and then they also say sum stupid as hell about race or sexuality like do what people get cold or how could someone be gay and be dead serious… umm plz stop interacting with me.
• Actually I’m gonna argue with you first. It’s going to bother me if I don’t.
• lol

Thursday 10/7/2021

• At the Newark Arts Night Market selling books.
• S/o the person from Cali who bought two books for imprisoned readers.
• Buy a book for an imprisoned person for $10 flat on the site—www.Ten-Dollar-Books.com—Ten Dollar Books pays for shipping and mails it out.
• “The way this class approaches writing has converted me from a writer who dislikes it to one who enjoys it.” That’s one of my students. Nice.

Friday 10/8/2021

• Sold a bunch of books yesterday. S/o Newark of course.
• People were asking at that event yesterday what my fav book is in the store. Definitely going with Black Boy.
• S/o the dude who bought the Malcolm X book, the Tupac book, and Live From Death Row lol.
• Ten Dollar Books will be at the Westfield street fair tomorrow.

Saturday 10/9/2021

• All the books in my store are curated by me. It’s not random stuff, it’s not Amazon. Good books only.

-Rachel Wagner

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My blogs:
–  Girtalk
–  Read or Die

My books: 
– Jacob’s Hip: Poems
– FEM: New Millennium Beauty & Fashion
– Abandonment Issues: Alive in New Jersey
– Back Like I Never Left: Dating as a Single Mother

My bookstore: Ten Dollar Books
Instagram: @tendollarbooks
Twitter: @tendollarbooks
FB: @tendollarbooks