The best hour I’ve had in a while was me sitting at a bar drinking a martini and reading this book.
I Am Not Ashamed is so real. Barbara Payton is an actress from decades ago who was at the top of her game and is now, at the time of the writing, at the bottom of the barrel (at the time of this writing, she has passed away). She goes from fur coats and big dates to drinking too much and selling sex. This book is Payton looking back on life, explaining how things went for her. She doesn’t hide who she slept with to get a part or who she blackmailed to get her way. Everything is very matter of fact. Her story reminded me of other confessional memoirs like The Devil Made Me Do It and Confessions of a Video Vixen. It’s like, yea why not tell the truth? Maybe it sucks, but oh well.
Best line: Men are always telling me how much they love me—how they can’t live without me. But when I say the government is after me for taxes and I got to have a thousand dollars immediately, I don’t hear any voices. I believe if a man really loves me theres’s no end to what he will do, money or what, to make me happy. Or at least ease my troubles. (Barbara Payton 70)