This blog is my musings on life and love. If you’ve read any of my books or stories on IG, then this is kinda what that’s like. Reading, relationships, revolution, and more. Tune in.

Another day (1/19/21 & 1/20/21 & 1/21/21)

1/20/21 My son made a black power poster today for school. It’s so good lol. He traced around his fist like you would do to the turkey hand for thanksgiving. Then he colored the whole thing in black marker. Nice. He loves Martin Luther King Jr. Imagine being satisfied with biden and kamala lol. Wrote […]

Another day 1/19/21

Existo en teroria. If you’ve read all my Instagram stories from the beginning (about a year ago), then you’ve read over 100 pages of mine lol. Finished transcribing them all onto a word doc the other day. Not sure what to do with that yet. One night I think two summers ago I didn’t have […]

Another day 1/18/21

Even when I go to think in Spanish, I’m like, “él nunca me amó.” Oh yea I’m re-teaching myself Spanish right now. It’s cool. Good thing I went to grad school. I can’t afford that…… emotionally…. Quiero un novio que es un amigo, no un amigo que es un novio. Having to beg for romantic […]

Local birds love pancakes

I made pancakes after Christmas. Guess it was more like brunch. But that was the first time my son had even agreed to try them. He always liked waffles before that. Anyway yea now I turned him over to the pancake side. It was by telling him the truth, which was that they were actually […]

In a state of longing

I’m reading a book right now that is making me miss college. It’s actually making me miss a version of college I never had. I never lived on campus never taught abroad never did any traveling of any sort. The whole time I worked two jobs and had two majors. I ran here and there […]

I am my own muse

I once had a guy be like he couldn’t date me because I might write about it. Yea I guess, except that who said I was even giving you the chance to be written about lol. I never even said yes to a date. Okay? You read my book and now you think I just […]

Healing is such a process lol

Every time I read a book I’m like, wow I really needed this, as if I’m not the one curating my reading list lol. Nah, but I do pick books based solely on what I feel like (the vibe is clear within the first few pages), and I always manage to find something relevant to […]

Parting with my college space heater

I gave away my space heater from college yesterday. Honestly, the apartment I’m in now is the first place I’ve ever had that had even just decent heat. That space heater has been an important item in my life for years. I remember vividly sitting on the edge of my bed with that heater blasting […]

8 MILE 18 years later

I watched the movie 8 Mile (2002) last night because I had just finished reading a book about him, White Noise: The Eminem Chronicles. I wanted to stay on topic a little longer lol. And I love him so ok put it on. I stayed up for the whole thing, unlike how I fall asleep […]

Notes of a woman followed to her car in the dark

When I came home from being followed to my car in the dark after Halseyfest, I told my dude at the time what happened and he totally mixed me off. Not like I was crying or something, but I was mad being like, right?? Why would this man follow me and my son like that? […]

One random hour without my kid

When that car door closed with my kid inside and I walked away, I was so relieved to be alone that I almost didn’t want to hit up this guy who had been trying hard to see me. And he’s nice. Still when I got inside I was like yea I could just chill this […]

Forgetting your book

My friend has a back porch that’s good for reading. It was built onto the house by her friend. The structure holds up a table and chairs nonetheless. Sitting back, you face the long rectangular backyard. We sat there and talked and I also sat there whenever I was alone. In the morning with her […]

Another day 11/10/20

my chemical romance is really out here changing lives lol i’ve had a few students write about them over the years honestly weed was already legal to the extent that i use it lol and student loan 4giveness–ya’ll wasn’t getting that shit back anyway lol again… people are gonna do what they’re gonna do no […]

Another day 11/9/20

no happiness just vibes s/o anxiously attached people only… if you’re secure or avoidant, this is not for you!!! the Aquarius dude i met is mad wholesome this dude yesterday was like i knew one other whitegirl in my life & she tried to be hood but you just hood teaching kinda sucked today. i […]

Men at the park

The park by my house is made for passing through, not hanging out. That’s part of what makes it a good place to run every afternoon. There’s no playground no benches to sit, nah none of that. It’s just sidewalks running across grass, all taking up like two or three big blocks. You’re all out […]

To be fetishized

There was this whiteboy a few years back who was fake-surprised black guys liked me cuz I was skinny. I had to do a proverbial pat on the head like, every. body. want. a. taste. Same thing I end up telling all my dudes. It doesn’t matter gay straight white black whatever. Please do not […]

Someone to like

After leaving my son’s dad, I had a feeling I’d never meet anyone. I’d dated around already for over ten years by that point. I was all set. Good. Done. Long short, near far. Been set up, beat up, drugged up, lied to, left behind, liked, loved. I know what goes on, and I had […]

In a toxic relationship with my job

Sunday night has arrived. Tomorrow is back to school, back to work. I teach in the morning and tutor in the afternoon while my son does his class in the next room over. We both hover over our laptops and manage to get through each week day. I know we’re lucky to be home. I’m […]

Self-soothing is 4 suckers lol

Honestly I’m sick of thinking of more things to do to distract me from being sad. Trying to replace that default setting with a redirected return to your own life hurts too. You really have to consciously choose jogging over texting. Smoking instead of calling. Reading and going to sleep instead of thinking. It sucks. […]

Driving across America

I recently drove from Newark, New Jersey to Indianapolis, Indiana. It was eleven hours of speeding down long stretches of highway. Stopped mostly only for gas and food and otherwise just kept going. I didn’t play much music, just some NPR. My son was on his lil tablet half the time so I just let […]

The state of the SAT

I got a job tutoring the SAT last year a couple months before corona happened. I was one of the newest hires and only tutored once a week even before they went remote, so naturally I lost that position due to the pandemic lol. Not like I wanted to work there anyway. All you really […]

Ya girl got anger issues

I’m reading this book about anger called The Dance of Anger, but I feel like today it made me angrier. Or was I angry already? Yea I think I was already making myself angry on the wake up, then I started reading about it and it got worse. It finally reached it’s peak after I […]

I don’t believe in writer’s block

You only can’t write cuz you’re not writing. If you really run blank and don’t know what to write at any given moment, you can always journal. Wallah–now you’re writing. Even if all you write is god idk what to write. I’m sitting here in a hoodie and jeans. A thong a top no bra. […]

Took the paywall off GIRLTALK

I realized that people not automatically linked to wordpress already had to go through hoops to log into Girltalk, so I took the paywall off everything. My real goal is to get content off IG because that’s not where I want to be with my stuff. But I also don’t want what I pivot to […]

Getting over someone is easy all you gotta do is…

All you gotta do is convince yourself they don’t look that good act that good or fuck that good ✓✓✓. Boom, roasted. Okay. Playing. But really I don’t enjoy this process, but this is what it is. And it’s basically that list lol. Certain situations just end up like that. I happened to have two […]

Cardio is mad addictive

I regret going less hard for sports after my best friend moved in middle school. I should have gotten a hold of that but instead I just had my eyes on boys and jobs. I was good at soccer, good at track. When 8th grade track started, I was in the beginning line-up with the […]

Anyone who says they want a sugar daddy never had one

If you’ve ever actually dated for money/housing/food/drugs, you know that it sucks. Even if you’ve only done it in some low level way (like hanging out with dudes just to get smoked out), it’s just a big ass game. You do a lil bit of what they want to get a tiny piece of what […]

Lolita & R. Kelly & Me

The most clicked on thing ever on my website is something I wrote about a book titled Sex Me that was marketed as being written by a woman who was in a crazy, toxic romantic relationship with R. Kelly. That anonymous story is mad traumatic and speedy and was only available as a PDF. I read it […]

“You should start a podcast or something”

People have been telling me here and there that I should start a podcast or a some kind of archive based on my IG stories. Maybe a flipbook of the posts or a show based on the topics I’ve covered already. What I write there is mostly me oversharing about my romantic escapades and work […]

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